Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Single's Guide: Dreaded Questions Part 2

The Love Life Edition

For most singles in their late 20s or early 30s, it's so common to hear these questions: “Kailan ka ba mag-aasawa? Hindi ka pa ba mag-aasawa? You’re not getting younger ah, when are you getting married? Kailan ka ba magsasama ng boyfriend/girlfriend sa bahay? Wala ka bang ipapakilala sa amin? Kailan ka ba magkaka-boyfriend/girlfriend? Bakit ka walang boyfriend/girlfriend?” Choose whatever suits you as we’re sure there are different versions of the dreaded question. Phrased in numerous ways, the same question really drives at a similar point. It simply puts you on the spot for the lack of someone special in your life. We know you’re also possibly fed up with the awkwardness it brings. If you think you've had enough, join us as we "prep up" with some possible answers. There's no better way to face your tactless Tita and the rest of the nosy gang but with a set of ready-made remarks.

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Next to weight issues, we’re not sure why our love life (or the lack thereof), is the favorite topic of friends and relatives in parties or reunions year on year. Who knows, some may just simply be interested in our status while others may be genuinely concerned that our biological clocks are ticking. Whatever their reasons are, some obviously don't realize how inappropriate and sometimes insensitive asking about one's love life can be. Just when you think being asked if you’re currently in a relationship is awkward enough, wait till you get a "Why?!" when you say you're not. And yes, it doesn’t help when they begin assuming you’re "choosy", "someone with extremely high standards" or a “high maintenance girl.”

We still don't understand why others need to rub the reality we’re in and make us feel like being single makes us less of a person. Given that, we need to stand up for ourselves (haha, minus any form of violence, of course). Here, check out our initial list of suggested answers for the infamous questions.

  • “Parating na din po yung para sa akin, pero kahit wala pa siya masaya naman po ako" (Enumerate the items on the list of why being single rocks! - Single Belle Rocks)
  • Put on a sweet smile and simply say “Don’t worry, I’ll let everyone know when it happens.”
  • Pick a random day and say, "(insert date)"
  • Say you’re busy enjoying life - "When I find a man who makes me happier than I am right now. Until then, I'm not settling.  I've got important things to do."
  • Short and simple - “If it’ll come, it’ll come.”
  • Or dodge the topic by saying “I have no time, I’m traveling the world tomorrow."
  • Point out what a serious commitment marriage is. “Marriage is a very important decision. While I would like to be married, I want to make the right decision so I won’t regret later on.”
  • Say “I’m not sure” then turn the question to them. It’ll work especially for people who love talking about themselves. They’ll surely forget they even asked you that question.

As an option, you could also twist the conversation with a light-hearted joke:

  • “Bakit, sasagutin mo ba gastos sa kasal ko?”
  • “Bakit ka ba nagmamadali?”
  • “Pag nabuntis na ako.” (follow it up with a laugh so they’d know you’re joking) Warning: This is not meant for ultra-conservative aunts
  • “Bukas na lang, gabi na eh.”
  • “I’ll let you know when I know”
  • “After your daughter/son does.”
  • “Pinaghahandaan pa po niya ako.”
  • “Next question please.”
It’s all a matter of attitude, Single Belles! The next time you get asked, aim for a light moment and pop one of the answers above. What's really important is to not let it affect you. Instead of wasting time drowning yourself in negativity, go ahead and enjoy your life. You're single, remember? You have the luxury of time that others don't. Now, who's got the last laugh? ;)

SB asks: 
Do you have other suggested answers to these questions? 
Drop us a comment and share your thoughts. The wittier, the better! :)

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